leadership

The Disaster of Failing to Be Trustworthy

/ Richard Bargas / 1 Comment

“Trusting in a treacherous man in time of trouble
is like a bad tooth or a foot that slips.”—Proverbs 25:19 (ESV)

I love how picturesque the proverbs are in describing truth in simple terms. The above proverb became very real to me recently when my wife twisted her knee when she slipped. As we walked back to the car from a trip to the hospital, her knee buckled and she was in great pain. For several weeks after that accident, she had to wear a brace to prevent her knee from giving out.

And I had the experience recently of an old filling falling out of a tooth leaving an pending in my tooth that caused a crack in my tooth while I was eating leading to a piece of tooth breaking off. Until my dentist appointment I have been eating on the other side of my mouth to avoid more damage and pain.

Buckling knees and cracked teeth are sudden, painful, and unexpected. But once the weakness is revealed it is hard to place trust in those areas again until after they are proven strong again and able to do the job they were meant to do. Even then, we sometimes are reluctant to place too much on them for fear that the pain they caused might return.

When we fail in our responsibilities at the moment when we were most depended upon, the damage can be great. The proverbs says this is “treacherous” failure. The Hebrew word betrays a break in trust, where dependability, even vows of loyalty were broken to the destruction of the one who placed trust in another. The failure is pictured as a massive breach of trust.

And just like a buckled knee can send a person to the ground and a broken tooth can cause excruciating pain, so too the failures of a trusted person bring great harm to the one who was depending upon the faithfulness of another.

What do you do when you are the one who is failed and have lost trust in another? Wisdom says we should move slowly in placing trust back in the failed one. We must make sure they are trustworthy before placing the responsibility back into their hands lest we be betrayed again. This will take confrontation, confession, conversations, and re-commitment on both parties. Over time, if there is a willingness, humility, forgiveness, and love, restoration can be achieved.

How about if you are the one who was treacherous and cast aside trust? Go to those you have failed without excusing yourself and your actions. Ask for forgiveness and offer to make right what you messed up. Humbly recognize that this will take time—maybe a long time—to reestablish trust. Be open to further questions, further need to confess your failings when they are uncovered in the process, and continuing discussions about where things started to go wrong. Be aware of any self-justification on your part. Listen.

Like a faulty knee and a broken tooth, the Master Physician can bring healing to even the worst and most painful failures. But we must allow him to work in us and through us so that we can be sure that the catastrophe is not repeated, bringing greater damage and more pain next time.

Dealing Honestly with Criticism in Ministry

/ Richard Bargas / 1 Comment

Criticism is a hard thing to deal with. This past week as I was digging through some old files on my computer I found a file that I had labeled “problems.” I currently have a paper file labeled the same in my desk drawer where complaint letters are kept. Thankfully it doesn’t have too many letters in it…yet.

Going back to the other day, I knew that I shouldn’t open the file and look inside, but curiosity got the better of me and I did. Inside I found some letters from when I was a pastor in California. The memories of those occasions had mercifully faded, but the letters instantly brought back those difficult days.

As I reviewed the contents, I could feel myself growing anxious as I repeated in my mind the answers to the harsh and unfair things written in them. Although there may have been small bits of truth sprinkled throughout, these letters represented the worst of the problem issues in my ministry.

You see, whenever someone has come to me with an issue, although it would be easier to push off the person by ignoring them, or tell myself that I know better because God has called me as the pastor of the church, I know that this would be foolish. I have tried to give everyone a hearing who comes and brings a complaint—and often I have had to humble myself and ask forgiveness when I have been wrong. Sometimes I am partially wrong or there has been a misunderstanding. If that is the case, I then have an opportunity to set things right and correct the error-either in them or myself, or both of us.

But these files I have often marked times when a person had come with sinful intent in their heart. They may have been bitter, sinfully angry, or even divisive. Many times they may have also been too cowardly to even speak to me personally and had emailed their complaint. I kept those emails and letters as a record of their words in case the issues needed to be further addressed with discipline, or maybe several meetings so that we could work through the underlying issues that are sometimes at the root of the problems.

The old files reminded me of something else. I am reminded in times when venom has been spewed at me by those who at one time professed to love me and the church, that it is possible—even as a Christian—to become so bitter and angry that we become a pawn in the hands of our enemy. He uses such embittered Christians to sow discord and division in Christ’s Church.

Not every complaint or criticism should be viewed in this way. But when we have truthfully evaluated the complaints brought to us and see that the heart of the complainer has succumbed to the root of bitterness, we must put aside the complaint, leaving it to the Lord. And we must guard our own hearts against becoming bitter ourselves. Instead we must pray that the Lord would free our embittered brethren from their anger, and we must long to see the day when we will be reconciled—whether in this life or the life to come.

Follow the Leader? (weekend repost)

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Paul had been ministering for years, but there was a need for Timothy to be faithful to practice what had been modeled for him so that he would be able to set an example for those who would follow him in the Church. The need is great for leaders in the church–for mentors and those who are growing as they follow biblical leaders. Read the rest of the post here: Follow the Leader?

Seeking the Wandering (weekend repost)

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Considering the very real fact that we are all prone to wander, I thought that it would be helpful to consider the four ways in which we need to show loving concern for a brother or sister who has gone astray from Matthew 18:10-14. Read the post here: Seeking the Wandering

Follow the Leader?

/ Richard Bargas / 1 Comment

New York Magazine ran an article in January 2018 entitled Yet Another Person Listens to GPS App and Drives Car Into Lake. The story reads:

“A driver in Vermont steered his car right into Lake Champlain on Friday. The driver says he was using navigation app Waze, which apparently insisted that driving into the lake was the right way to go. “The app directed the drivers to turn onto the boat launch near the Coast Guard station,” the Burlington Free Press reports. “By the time they realized what was happening, the car had slid 100 feet onto the lake. The three people in the car managed to climb out.” Another passenger in the car described conditions as “dark and foggy.” The car remained at the bottom of the lake before it could be retrieved by divers. A Google spokesperson said that it would be “impossible to comment here without seeing the user’s driving file,” and that the company hadn’t “received permission to do so.” She also reminded people that while using Waze, they should still “use all environmental information available to them to make the best decisions as they drive.” As in, if it looks like a lake and quacks like a lake, don’t drive into it because it’s a lake. The unnamed driver certainly isn’t the first person to blindly follow technology to a watery end. In June 2017, there was a guy who drove into a lake in Massachusetts and blamed his GPS. He’s joined by a woman in Ontario who similarly navigated into a pond and … blamed her GPS.”[1]

In 2 Timothy 3, Paul had given a detailed description of false teachers who sought to lead people astray spiritually. Like the GPS that led the Vermont driver into Lake Champlain, these false teachers were leading believers away from truth into grievous error. Paul’s clear purpose was the danger that the church in Ephesus and Timothy were in. The warnings signs were there, and we still need to be vigilant even today. But beginning in verse 10, Paul began to turn things around and point to a positive example–himself. Paul is a faithful leader, one who will assure that Timothy is on the right path. 

This call by Paul to Timothy to continue to follow his example acts as a strong counteraction against the false teachers from verses 1-9. The activities of the deceivers are to be replaced by the continue example of Timothy as he followed the Apostle Paul. “You, however, have followed my teaching, my conduct, my aim in life, my faith, my patience, my love, my steadfastness,” (2 Timothy 3:10, ESV)

The verb “followed” (‘fully known” in KJV) means to give careful attention to something, “to conform to someone’s belief or practice by paying special attention, to follow faithfully, follow as a rule.”[2]

Paul had been ministering for years, but there was a need for Timothy to be faithful to practice what had been modeled for him so that he would be able to set an example for those who would follow him in the Church. The need is great for leaders in the church–for mentors and those who are growing as they follow biblical leaders. Let me ask you–who are you following? Are they leading you into greater godliness, holiness, and love for Christ? And probably more importantly, where are they leading you? Do you have a biblical mentor? And as a follow-up, are you acting as a biblical mentor for someone?

[1] http://nymag.com/selectall/2018/01/waze-app-directs-driver-to-drive-car-into-lake-champlain.html

[2] BDAG, parakoloutheo.