marriage

The Sanctity of Marriage, part 2

/ Richard Bargas / Leave a comment

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For part 1 of this post, see here.

The first two attributes of God-ordained and blessed marriage are related and are best understood together. Marriage marked by a relationship that is both heterosexual and monogamous demonstrates the glorious design of God in creation. In Genesis 2:18, when the Lord saw that it was not good for man to be alone, he created for Adam from his side a solitary woman (Gen 1:22). At this point of creation, God potentially could have made another male, several males, several females, or an animal that would have been an alternative to this single woman that He chose to create as the perfect mate for Adam. But in the Lord’s infinite wisdom He made a woman from the side of the first man. By defining this attribute of marriage for humanity the Lord ruled out the possibilities of adultery, homosexuality, polygamy, polyamory and bestiality. One man and one woman were all that God made in the Garden when he declared that it was “very good” at the close of the seventh day of creation (Gen. 1:31).

The boundaries of marriage restricted to a couple that are both heterosexual and monogamous are not simply one option among many. Neither is this simply a construct agreed upon by society in the past that has become outdated and impractical in our modern era. Because God established these parameters in the beginning with the first man and woman, they are binding upon all humanity for all time. John MacArthur writes, “From the very first marriage, that of Adam and Eve, God has joined together every husband and wife. Marriage is first of all God’s institution and God’s doing, regardless of how men may corrupt it or deny or disregard His part in it. Whether it is between Christians or between atheists or idolaters, whether it is arranged by parents or by the mutual desire and consent of the bride and bridegroom, marriage is above all the handiwork of God…”[1]The pattern for marriage was established in the first marriage. Thus it excludes all illicit relationships outside of this pattern, including adultery, homosexuality, polygamy and polyamory. Every corruption of the divine order for marriage is willful and open rebellion against the Creator. As Paul address the church in Rome, a church that undoubtedly saw similar desecration of marriage, he wrote: “Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen”[2](Rom 1:24-25, ESV).

The third attribute of God-glorifying marriage is implied in what has been said above regarding Eve being made for Adam. Marriage was designed by God for the lifetime of each of the marriage partners. The Bible is explicit regarding God’s desire for the commitment of marriage and speaks against such sins as polygamy, polyamory, adultery, divorce and fornication. Each of these sins strikes at the heart of God’s intention for marriage between one man and one woman for life. Although the practices of polygamy, concubinage and divorce were tolerated to a certain extent because of the hardness of man’s heart, the Lord Jesus stressed that “from the beginning it was not so” (Matt 19:8). Such sins as sexual immorality, including prostitution, fornication and adultery have always been an abomination to the Lord (Ex 20:14; Lev 20:10, 14; Matt 15:19; 1Cor 6:18; 1Thes 4:3).

The subject of divorce is a particularly difficult issue that needs to be understood in light of God’s intentions for marriage. Whereas there is no debate among fundamental Bible churches regarding the sinfulness and reprehensible nature of sexual immorality, polygamy, adultery, or homosexuality, there are different views regarding divorce and what is allowable. These differences exist among Bible believing brethren not in spite of, but becauseof our commitment to the authority of the Word. Simplistic answers do not help as we seek to minister and guide hurting families that have struggled in any of these areas of sin, including divorce.

Two biblical facts regarding divorce are agreed upon by all—God hates divorce (Mal 2:16) and divorce was never His intention for marriage (Mk 10:11-12) because it is the destruction of the one flesh union that was created in the marriage covenant (Gen 2:24). Where disagreement occurs among well-intentioned brethren is regarding the question of whether there is anyallowance for divorce. But even among those who believe that divorce is sometimesallowable, such divorces are restricted to two possible reasons: sexual immorality and abandonment by an unbelieving spouse (Matt 5:32; 1Cor 7:15) and is not allowable for just any cause (Matt 19:3).

An additional issue regarding divorce must also reconcile the biblical texts regarding remarriage and whether it is allowable or not (cp. Matt 5:32; Mk 10:11-12; 2Cor 6:14). These matters regarding divorce are not simple because individual situations vary and wisdom in the application of Scripture is necessary. Whatever a person or church concludes about divorce and remarriage, it must be done with a thorough commitment to scriptural truth along with grace in understanding that there are other views that must be recognized with respect and charity.

Seeking to Remain Biblical in Our Changing World

All Christians committed to the inerrant infallible Word understand that these matters are of immense importance to our world as we seek to minister to those who repent and turn to Christ as their only hope. Christ calls His Church to faithfulness to His Word while navigating the new challenges to marriage that we are encountering in our ever changing world. Our commitment to the Scripture’s standard must always remain as unchanging as the Word itself, and we must resist every effort to capitulate to the culture for the sake of expediency or to gain the esteem of the world. This will take wisdom, added care, grace and patience, but it is our responsibility if we intend on ministering to those in our hurting world without compromise.

With Christians not only teaching what the Bible says about marriage, but also living it out before a watching world, Christ will be glorified as we paint a picture of His love for the Church and our submission to Him (Eph 5:22-33). This will be a powerful testimony added to our loving care for those that are in need of the message of gospel.

[1]John MacArthur. The Divorce Dilemma, Day One Publications, Leominster, England, (2009), p. 39.

[2]The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (Wheaton: Standard Bible Society, 2016), Ro 1:24–25.

The Sanctity of Marriage, part 1

/ Richard Bargas / 1 Comment

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Hebrews 13:4 tells us that marriage is to be held in honor among all. Marriage should hold a high place in the minds of the people of God. Where the sanctity of marriage was widely held in our society, that is no longer the case. Wherever one turns, the institution of marriage is being attacked and disparaged. Our IFCA fellowship of churches has sought to be a light for Christ in a dark world while at the same time seeking to reach those that are lost with the truth of the gospel of Christ. We have always been committed to standing firm and reaching out. To do this faithfully in the area of marriage, we need to be committed to what the Scriptures teach so that we can proclaim that truth in a spirit of faithfulness to the Lord with a love for the unregenerate.

The Challenges to Marriage Today

The attacks on the sanctity of marriage are so numerous that this short article can do little more than acknowledge that these issues are a growing concern not only in the culture around us, but many of those the Lord brings our way will be coming from this background. We must be prepared to minister to those who are devastated by these sins.

Cohabitation has become so prevalent that recent statistics show that living together before marriage has risen from 40% in 1980-1984 to 70% in 2010-2014.[1]The National Center for Family & Marriage Research unsurprisingly also found that births to single and cohabiting mothers steadily grew from 21% in 1980-1984 to 41% in 2010-2014.[2]

Divorce has recently been touted as being at a 35 year low. But we can’t be too quick to celebrate because the marriage rate since 2010 has also experienced a forty-five year  low.[3]Obviously, fewer marriages lead to fewer divorces. Instead of being encouraging news, we need to realize that this statistic is an illustration of the demise of traditional marriage. With the advent of homosexual civil unions and same-sex marriage, divorce of both heterosexual and homosexual couples each average about 2% per year.[4]

Adultery is an unfortunate universal reality and can be found in every civilization and culture all the way back to the fall of man. With the advent of modern technology the threat has become epidemic. In July 2015, Ashley Madison, a website designed as a “dating site” targeting married people interested in an adulterous relationship, was hacked and exposed the information of millions of its customers.[5]Now adultery is as close as our cell phones and computers.

Homosexuality and same-sex marriage are the most troublesome attacks upon the sanctity of marriage because their proponents have been organized and aggressive in their campaigns to promote and normalize homosexual activity. No longer restricted to gay and lesbian relationships, the LGBTQ[6]movement continues to spread its tentacles around the world into every place of prominence and power, including the Church.

Polyamory and polygamy has grown in popularity in recent years through the promotion of television programs such as HBO’s Big Loveand TLC’s Sister Wiveswith both programs seeking to gain sympathy for the polygamist lifestyles of fundamentalist Mormons as well as influencing the legality of polygamy[7]. Polyamory, which does not require marriage, refers to the similar philosophy that multiple simultaneous relationships of an intimate nature as normal and natural, so long as all parties agree.

Each of these challenges to the sanctity of marriage flout the Word of God regarding marriage by perverting God’s intention and purposes for it. So, what does the Word of God teach us regarding the preservation of His institution of holy matrimony?

Biblically Defining Marriage

In his book entitled The Bible in Government and Society, Christopher Cone observes the vast chasm that exists between believers and unbelievers regarding marriage as God designed it and how they choose to live their lives. Dr. Cone writes, “People who reject that Designer cannot be expected to uphold marriage as it is designed—in fact, the Bible never prescribes how unbelievers should conduct their own marriages. For unbelievers, marriage is little more than a civil union whereby society is ordered and promulgated. Herein is the cause of tension within a society where believer and unbeliever coexist under a common governmental structure. Believers ought to base their ethical understandings on the metaphysical understanding that the Bible is authoritative for every aspect of life (2 Tim 3:16–17). Unbelievers, on the other hand, do not operate from the same metaphysical understanding, and consequently, their ethical prescriptions will often conflict with those given to believers.”[8]

This different “metaphysical understanding” exists because unregenerate men and women have suppressed the truth that God has made known to them and by nature cannot truly understand the Spirit-given Word (Rom 1:18-32; 1Cor 2:6-14). This does not mean that we should not hold unbelievers in society to the Lord’s standard, but that we must uphold the truth (1Tim 3:15) and declare it to the world without fear or shame (2Tim 1:8-14). The sanctity of marriage can be simplified if we focus on three attributes that the Scriptures teach us about God’s righteous standard.

[1]Paul Hemez and Wendy D. Manning, “Thirty Years of Change in Women’s Premarital Cohabitation Experience” National Center for Family and Marriage Research, Bowling Green State University, https://magic.piktochart.com/output/19755947-hemez-manning-30-yrs-change-women-premarital-cohab-fp-17-05; Accessed 3/9/2017.

[2]Huijng Wu, “Trends in Births to single and Cohabiting Mothers, 1980-2014.” https://magic.piktochart.com/output/19730931-wu-trends-births-single-cohabiting-mothers-fp-17-04-png; Accessed 3/9/2017.

[3]Ben Steverman. “Divorce in U.S. Plunges to 35-Year Low” Bloomberg; https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2016-11-17/divorce-in-u-s-plunges-to-35-year-low?mkt_tok=eyJpIjoiWlRRNU1UQTNPRFV5WTJNMiIsInQiOiJISTR1Tjl3WmliMzVabFF4bGZiSnBXdUN4T0NrXC8waXh6ZjNpTzNZb29pdzR3UGZmODBLVU5HelJkQWxRMVhJT1h5cjh0RysrYklMN25iNWVyR0JzWUplM0ZRSjdJVzR6RmtRWWJRQ1RiRDg9In0%253D; Accessed 3/9/2017.

[4]Andrew Gelman. “Same-Sex Divorce Rate Not As Low As It Seemed.” The Washington Post, Dec. 15, 2014. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/monkey-cage/wp/2014/12/15/same-sex-divorce-rate-not-as-low-as-it-seemed/?utm_term=.cec6a8232101; Accessed 3/9/2017.

[5]Charles Riley. “Hackers Threaten to Release Names From Adultery Website.” CNN Tech; http://money.cnn.com/2015/07/20/technology/ashley-madison-hack/; Accessed 3/9/2017.

[6]Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer or Questioning. Some have advocated the addition of the letter “A” for “Affirming,” those who may not themselves be homosexual, but affirm and promote homosexual and transgender sexuality.

[7]The Associated Press. “High Court Won’t Hear ‘Sister Wives’ Appeal Over Bigamy Law.” http://woodtv.com/2017/01/23/high-court-wont-hear-sister-wives-appeal-over-bigamy-law/; Accessed 3/9/2017.

[8]Christopher Cone. The Bible in Government and Society, Tyndale Seminary Press, Hurst, TX (2012), pp. 106-7.