No matter where you serve the Lord, whether in a city or rural setting, it is easy to become overwhelmed with the many responsibilities that are required of a minister. For 12 of my 17 years as the pastor of a small church in an urban inner-city area of Los Angeles, I juggled two sets of responsibilites—leading our church in many of the main teaching responsibilities, which consisted of preaching for about 45 minutes three times a week from three different books of the Bible, along with men’s discipleship, and counseling. There were, of course, many other responsibilities which we could sprinkle in along with those, but those took up major chunks of my time.
Additionally, I taught pastoral ministry courses at a nearby seminary twice a week during the regular semesters. Because of Los Angeles traffic and the distance to the seminary, I would spend about 4 hours each day on congested freeways as I travelled to and from the school. That meant that on the days that I taught, I would spend most of my days either commuting to and from the seminary as well as teaching. When I returned I would most often drive straight to my office at church and pick up my duties there.
These two worlds, church pastor and seminary professor, required that I have a very good grasp of time management and discipline or else I knew that all those involved—my wife and children, my church, and my students—would suffer and I would not be able to faithfully discharge my duties.
Because of this, I understand the time constraints that are placed upon any servant of God as they seek to make the best use of their time to bring glory to God. To help those that might be working at doing this very thing, I’d like to share with you how I did this, even thought it was imperfect, in hopes that you might benefit from the lessons I learned.
I remember reading several years ago in a book by the famous productiviy guru Stephen Covey, the illustration of the big rocks and little rocks. It helped me to see the importance of prioritizing the big responsibilities in my life and ministries, and was a help in looking at the big picture.
In this illustration, Covey says he invited a seminar attendee to the front of the room to a table with a glass jar and several bowls with rocks, pea gravel, sand, and a glass of water. He asked the woman if she thought she could fit everything on the table into the jar. She said she’d try and made a few attempts, trying to put the sand and gravel in first. By doing this she found that the larger rocks wouldn’t fit. After a few more attempts she said that she didn’t think it was possible. Covey thanked her and then proceeded to take an empty jar and added in each element one at a time. He started with the larger rocks, then added the pea gravel, shaking the jar to settle in the gravel as much as possible. Then he added the sand. At each step he asked the women who had failed if she thought the jar was full. At first she said it was, then as she caught on, she answered that somehow she knew more would fit in. After the gravel and the sand, Covey once again shook the jar so the sand filled in all the spaces between the large rocks and the gravel. Finally, Covey added the water, which filled the microscopic spaces between the grains of sand, assuring his audience that the jar was now truly full.
Covey used this illustration to show that unless the large rocks, which represent the important things in our lives, are put into place first, we will never accomplish what matters most. And when what matters most is our families and our ministry to the Lord, we want to make sure that these things are placed in the most important place of priority in our life and limited time. The other stuff, the small stuff, can be added afterwards if we so desire.
So, for me, I set up a general day by day schedule that looked like this:
Mondays—Family Day. This was time that unless absolutely necessary due to a real emergency, I did not work or neglect the family. These focused days were filled with great joy and helped me to relax and spend time with my wife and children. I understood that if I lost my family, I lost my ministry.
Tuesdays—Seminary teaching in the day, church administration and counseling appointments in afternoons and the evenings.
Wednesday-Study and sermon preparation for Wednesday night, and teaching in the evenings.
Thursday– Seminary teaching in the day, study and sermon preparation for Sunday mornings.
Friday-Continue study and sermon prep for Sunday morning if not finished, study and sermon prep for Sunday evenings.
Saturday-Men’s Bible study and/or evangelism; finish sermon prep for Sunday nights if not done.
Sunday-Worship in the morning and evening, monthly leadership training and board meetings in between services.
This was my regular “big picture” schedule for most of my 17 years as pastor of my church. When the seminary had a break, then usually my involvement at church increased and I was able to divert my attention to other necessary needs at church.
And although I can’t say that I never struggled with being exhausted at times, or having too much on my plate, my schedule helped me to fit the big things into my days, and then the smaller “pebbles, and sand,” like phone calls, visitation to homes and hospitals, and pop-in-visits, fit in without losing sight of the important responsibilities that needed to happen.
Most people within your church will never have any idea how many hours and how much time you put into serving them—and that’s as it should be. We are servants after all. But the Lord knows, and we will all have to give an account for how we spent our time as ministers of the gospel. So, if you are a pastor of a church, take that seriously. The pastorate is no place for lazy men.
“Trusting in a treacherous man in time of trouble is like a bad tooth or a foot that slips.”—Proverbs 25:19 (ESV)
I love how picturesque the proverbs are in describing truth in simple terms. The above proverb became very real to me recently when my wife twisted her knee when she slipped. As we walked back to the car from a trip to the hospital, her knee buckled and she was in great pain. For several weeks after that accident, she had to wear a brace to prevent her knee from giving out.
“Trusting in a treacherous man in time of trouble is like a bad tooth or a foot that slips.”—Proverbs 25:19 (ESV)
I love how picturesque the proverbs are in describing truth in simple terms. The above proverb became very real to me recently when my wife twisted her knee when she slipped. As we walked back to the car from a trip to the hospital, her knee buckled and she was in great pain. For several weeks after that accident, she had to wear a brace to prevent her knee from giving out.
And I had the experience recently of an old filling falling out of a tooth leaving an pending in my tooth that caused a crack in my tooth while I was eating leading to a piece of tooth breaking off. Until my dentist appointment I have been eating on the other side of my mouth to avoid more damage and pain.
Buckling knees and cracked teeth are sudden, painful, and unexpected. But once the weakness is revealed it is hard to place trust in those areas again until after they are proven strong again and able to do the job they were meant to do. Even then, we sometimes are reluctant to place too much on them for fear that the pain they caused might return.
When we fail in our responsibilities at the moment when we were most depended upon, the damage can be great. The proverbs says this is “treacherous” failure. The Hebrew word betrays a break in trust, where dependability, even vows of loyalty were broken to the destruction of the one who placed trust in another. The failure is pictured as a massive breach of trust.
And just like a buckled knee can send a person to the ground and a broken tooth can cause excruciating pain, so too the failures of a trusted person bring great harm to the one who was depending upon the faithfulness of another.
What do you do when you are the one who is failed and have lost trust in another? Wisdom says we should move slowly in placing trust back in the failed one. We must make sure they are trustworthy before placing the responsibility back into their hands lest we be betrayed again. This will take confrontation, confession, conversations, and re-commitment on both parties. Over time, if there is a willingness, humility, forgiveness, and love, restoration can be achieved.
How about if you are the one who was treacherous and cast aside trust? Go to those you have failed without excusing yourself and your actions. Ask for forgiveness and offer to make right what you messed up. Humbly recognize that this will take time—maybe a long time—to reestablish trust. Be open to further questions, further need to confess your failings when they are uncovered in the process, and continuing discussions about where things started to go wrong. Be aware of any self-justification on your part. Listen.
Like a faulty knee and a broken tooth, the Master Physician can bring healing to even the worst and most painful failures. But we must allow him to work in us and through us so that we can be sure that the catastrophe is not repeated, bringing greater damage and more pain next time.
Paul had been ministering for years, but there was a need for Timothy to be faithful to practice what had been modeled for him so that he would be able to set an example for those who would follow him in the Church. The need is great for leaders in the church–for mentors and those who are growing as they follow biblical leaders. Read the rest of the post here: Follow the Leader?
Luther was a confirmed bachelor until he was 41. He resisted marriage, and only chose to marry after he had preached on the need for the young ministers of the reformation to get married, against the unbiblical practices of Romanism (how romantic!).
On June 13, 1525 Luther married Katharina Von Bora, a former nun who had fled the convent with a group of nuns who had been convinced of the truth of the reformation. Katie was 26.
Luther was already very famous and a wanted man outside of Saxony. It was an overwhelming thing for Katie to be instantly known as Luther’s wife, but she took up the task with vigor.
A biography of Luther describes the woman behind the great Dr. Luther: “Katharina immediately took on the task of administering and managing the vast holdings of the monastery, breeding and selling cattle, and running a brewery in order to provide for their family and the steady stream of students who boarded with them and visitors seeking audiences with her husband. In times of widespread illness, Katharina operated a hospital on site, ministering to the sick alongside other nurses. Luther called her the “boss of Zulsdorf,” after the name of the farm they owned, and the “morning star of Wittenberg” for her habit of rising at 4 a.m. to take care of her various responsibilities….In addition to her busy life tending to the lands and grounds of the monastery, Katharina bore six children: Hans, Elizabeth, Magdalena, Martin, Paul, and Margarete. The Luthers also raised four orphan children, including Katharina’s nephew, Fabian.”
What is the saying? Behind every great man… It is also true of Martin Luther. Martin and Katie were so close, their hearts so knit together that Luther called Katie “my rib.”
In the New Testament we also find a couple who serve alongside one another. They pop up in six places in the New Testament, and always together. Their names were Aquila and Priscilla.
Acts 18:2 tells us that Aquila was a Jewish native of Pontus, which is in Asia Minor. They lived and worked in Rome until 49 AD when Claudius expelled the Jews from Rome, which sent them to the city of Corinth. It was in Corinth that they met the Apostle Paul on his second missionary journey. We don’t know for sure, but it might be that Paul led this couple to salvation.
From this amazing couple, I’ve chosen Three Lessons We Can Learn Regarding Ministry Together in Christ.
1. Ministry Together Means Ministering Where You Are (Acts 18:1-3)
Here is the first occasion that the New Testament gives of this ministry couple, and we find out a little about them—they shared the same trade as the Apostle Paul, they were tentmakers or leather workers.
Acts 18:3 says that the Apostle stayed with this couple and he worked with them. Paul worked by day in the trade of tanning hides and sewing together awnings and tents, possibly in the shop that Aquila and Priscilla owned.
At the end of a long work day they would retire to their home, which Paul shared with them while he was in Corinth. On the Sabbath, verse 4 tells us that Paul would move into the synagogue and would reason (lit. dialogue) with those gathered there, mainly Jews and some Gentile God-fearers who had converted to Judaism. Paul also ministered in the agora, the marketplace where all the merchants gathered.
What I want you to see is the way that Aquila and Priscilla were so key to this situation, right where they were. Their whole life, both work and home-life was sanctified for the sake of the gospel. Not only did their business help support Paul and his ministry, it must have been a place of wonderful theological training and edification!
Can you imagine the conversations around the dinner table? Aquila and Priscilla took advantage of the circumstance they were in and used it for the glory of God; using their lives together as a place of ministry help and fellowship for Paul as well as edification and spiritual growth for themselves.
Luther used his dinner table as a mighty tool in the church. It rivaled his pulpit in influence as he gathered theological students around his table to hash out the implications of the gospel. He called them “table talks.” A table and a meal became a place for the mighty Spirit to move.
What could your home and workplace become for Christ? You don’t need to change jobs, or go into full time ministry to be used mightily for God. You and your spouse can look at where you are right now and ask God to take your circumstance and use it mightily for him.
2. Ministry Together Means You Need to Be Both a Student and a Teacher (Acts 18:4, 24-26)
Because we are told that Aquila was a Jew, it is highly possible that so was his wife. They would have gone with Paul to the synagogue every Sabbath and listened to the debates that Paul brought to the people.
Over time, this couple became very well equipped in the gospel and doctrine. They knew their stuff! Their time with Paul was not spent in chit-chat and trivialities. They were focused on learning as much as they could about the Christ.
Acts 18:18-21 teaches us that Paul and Aquila and Priscilla went on to Ephesus together where they had to part ways.
Then in verses 24-26 Aquila and Priscilla met up with a man named Apollos who was a powerful preacher, but his theology was lacking in some areas that are pretty important. Verse 26 says that when this couple heard him, they took him aside and taught him “more accurately.”
If you think about it, every teacher was at one time a student. And that is where everyone needs to begin—sitting under the authority of the Word of God and walking in obedience to what it says. Priscilla and Aquila sat patiently under Paul, soaking up what he offered to them. They saw the need to be students first.
I once had someone in our church who said that they didn’t feel like they were being spiritually fed at our church. But here was the problem—our church has three preaching services a week (Sunday morning and evening, and Wednesday night) along with Sunday school classes, Bible studies, discipleship groups, and other ministries, all of which were available to this person. But he didn’t take advantage of any of them except for Sunday mornings, and at this service his attendance was sporadic. I told him, “We’re serving up the Word, you’re just not coming to supper.”
What about you? Are you a student of the Word? Husband, are you stopping your wife from getting fed under the guise of wanting “family time?” You’ll regret it. And wife, are you dragging your feet about your husband being at church so much? You’ll regret it.
And beyond your own spiritual benefit, the church will be poorer for it. Because you cannot give what you do not have. You can’t teach what you don’t know. You can’t lead where you have not first gone yourself.
Sometimes church members complain about the ministries of the church, but they don’t see their own part in it all. How can the Lord use you in your immaturity?
And those who are laboring need you! The church needs godly couples who love Christ and His Word. We need more people like Aquila and Priscilla who can come alongside the Apollos’ of the church and teach them more accurately.
Are you a student of the Word? Could the leaders of our church ask you to come alongside them to help teach and lead this church?
3. Ministry Together Means Working with a Kingdom Focus (Rom 16:3-4)
At some point Priscilla and Aquila moved back to Rome and became an active part of the church there. According to Romans 16:5, they used their home as a meeting place for the church.
Paul called them sunergos, fellow-workers. These two were more than a couple, they were team workers. They didn’t see their part in the church as building up their own little kingdom. They were part of something much bigger.
That meant that their view of this life was much more than living to make a buck. Even though we were told that they were tentmakers back in Acts 18, it is never mentioned again. I’m sure they kept practicing their trade, but they weren’t defined by that fact. Their life wasn’t about being the pre-eminent tent-makers of Rome. They were part of the mission of the Church, and that was where they focused their love and energy.
This is shown in what Paul says about them in verse 4. He tells that whole church something that we wonder how many knew before he wrote it—that Aquila and Priscilla risked their necks in order to save Paul’s life. We don’t know how they did this or any of the circumstances, but it is there, locked into Scripture for all eternity. Priscilla and Aquila were bold enough to be willing to die for the sake of the gospel, and they knew that Paul was a key player in God’s plan. They were so sold out that they would rather have died than to see Paul die. It didn’t happen, but they were ready to take a bullet, so to speak. That’s how focused they were.
They didn’t let pettiness, selfishness, career, ambition, or anything else derail them from the mission. They didn’t care who got the credit, they were working for the same goal—to see Christ magnified through the proclamation of the gospel to the whole world.
In her book, One with a Shepherd, Mary Somerville describes the attitude that God calls us to. Writing from the perspective of ministry together, she writes: “My marriage is unique in that I am one with God through Jesus Christ and that makes me uniquely one with Bob [her husband]. We have a complete oneness that those outside of Christ cannot experience. We have one Savior and Lord, one name, one new family, one goal, one Word to guide us, and one focus of our lives—to glorify God. We have the Holy Spirit living within both of us to empower us to love each other sacrificially and to help us work through all hinderances to our oneness. With Christ in our lives there is hope for any difficulty we face. By his grace we can forgive as we have been forgiven. The Spirit knits us together and gives us a new heart that desires to serve Christ and give sacrificially to one another in love.”
And even though Mary Somerville is writing as a pastor’s wife, there is nothing that she wrote that isn’t true of all Christian couples serving God in all capacities from the perspective of either husband or wife.
If God calls you to any ministry, he calls you together. You may not serve together (i.e., elder, teacher, nursery, etc.) but you’re marriage brings you together to mutually support and care for one another in every ministry.
Ministry together means:
1. Ministering Where You Are
2. You Need to Be Both a Student and a Teacher
3. Working with a Kingdom Focus
What are some steps you can take to make these things happen?
1. Begin developing a family culture around the Word of God. Not just reading but discussing the Word. Husbands with wives. Moms with children. Dads do this with the family. Grandparents with children and grandchildren. Use that dinner table for the glory of God. Discuss the sermon on Sunday. Make your meal a theological feast, even if its around peanut butter and jelly sandwiches!
2. Tolle lege! Take up and read! We all need to be better students of the Word. That is primary. But after you have feasted on the Word, you cannot stop. Pick up good theological books. I know that many people think that they don’t have the time, but I will let John Piper convince you that you really do:
Now, I know what you are thinking: I don’t have the time or the ability to get anywhere in books like that. So I want to show you something really encouraging. When this was shown to me about four years ago by my pastor, it changed my life. Most of us don’t aspire very high in our reading because we don’t feel like there is any hope.
But listen to this: Suppose you read about 250 words a minute and that you resolve to devote just 15 minutes a day to serious theological reading to deepen your grasp of biblical truth. In one year (365 days) you would read for 5,475 minutes. Multiply that times 250 words per minute and you get 1,368,750 words per year. Now most books have between 300 and 400 words per page. So if we take 350 words per page and divide that into 1,368,750 words per year, we get 3,910 pages per year. This means that at 250 words a minute, 15 minutes a day, you could read about 20 average sized books a year!
3. Come alongside those already serving, including your spouse. Support them in regular prayer. Provide them resources that will help them and give them plenty of encouragement. In this way, you will have a part of their ministry.
May the Lord take all of us and make us into more Aquila’s and Priscilla’s. O how the church could use more like them. Focused not on our own agenda, but on the greatest mission this world has ever known, making our great God known to every corner of the earth!
Always Reforming 