7 Lessons Learned While in the Darkness of Despair (Psalm 88)

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In light of all the comments made in regard to Robin Williams’ death, I thought this post might be helpful. Depression is a serious matter that so many people struggle with, but it is an affliction that some Christians see as a weakness of faith and unbecoming for a person who claims Christ as Savior. But throughout Church history, there have been those who have struggled with an internal darkness that comes upon them. Whether we call it melancholy, depression, or some other name, the Word of God gives hope even in the midst of the dark nights of affliction. Tim Challies wrote about the struggle that hymn writer William Cowper (pronounced “Cooper”) faced his whole life, even after coming to Christ.

William Cowper was born in 1731 in Berkhamsted, England. His mother died when he was only 6 years old, leaving him to be raised by his father. The mental pain Cowper struggled with was primarily depression…. He had four major battles with it through his life, leading him to attempt suicide on several occasions. He was never successful, however, and God would preserve his life until death by dropsy in 1800, aged 69. Cowper apparently became a believer in 1764 while in residence at St. Albans Insane Asylum. He happened upon a Bible on a bench in the garden, and God used John 11 and Romans 3:25 to open his eyes to the goodness of Jesus and the sufficiency of his atoning work…. Throughout the rest of his life he remained convinced of God’s sovereignty and goodness, even if at times he had great difficulty believing he himself was a beneficiary of them. Cowper’s hymn writing came as a result of his friendship with John Newton. They became friends in 1767 when Cowper moved to Olney, England to be under Newton’s ministry.[1]

With Cowper and others in mind, I would like to briefly point out 7 lessons that we can learn while in the darkness of despair so that we can help others who are struggling, or so that we might find comfort and relief from our great God and Savior.

  1. Scripture does not deny the reality of a “darkness of the soul” (Ps. 88; Job 1)
  • The mere existence of Psalm 88 (among others) and the book of Job, as well as other parts of Scripture demonstrates for us that there is such a thing as “spiritual depression” (to use D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones’ preferred term).
  • By denying this reality, we become like Job’s worthless counselors for those who are in the most need of spiritual healing and care. Not only that, but we may also be guilty of speaking against many godly people who suffered while maintaining their righteous stand before God. It is one thing when a person suffers for their sinful choices, but what about those who suffer for no apparent cause of their own? Do not all those suffering, sinner or saint, require the grace of God to be applied to their souls?
  • Finally, when we deny this reality, we not only deny the truth of Scripture but also experience. We hurt those who are truly suffering and need us to minister to them, not lecture them to some sort of Stoic idea that is foreign to Christianity. Godly people really do suffer!

2. God does not always give answers for our suffering (Ps 88; Job)

  • We live in an age where a problem is introduced and resolved in the span of a 30 minute sit-com on TV. And there is a tragic perversion of Christianity that exists and is thriving that teaches that God doesn’t want you to be unhappy, but rather he wants to bless you with all the material possessions you desire. Many readers might reject this theology, but struggle dealing with how to deal with a godly person who sees no end in their suffering. But we cannot demand or even expect that God will either remove suffering in this life or even give an answer to the question “why?” But life is not like a movie or sit-com and Scripture accurately portrays real life.
  • As Derek Kidner has written,“The happy ending of most psalms of this kind seems to be a bonus, not a due; its withholding is not a proof of either God’s displeasure or his defeat.” [2]
  • Sometimes suffering is hard and long, and it may not end with a healing, comfort, or even any apparent reason why the suffering has occurred.
     3. God needs to be our anchor and life-line in the darkness or we shall have no hope (v. 1)
  • Verse 1 is the only positive line in the whole psalm. It frames the whole because it is a starkly honest conversation between the psalmist and his God. But what if the psalmist had no understanding of God or no relationship with him? What if the psalmist’s god was not the One true and living God? How could he account for his suffering?
  • Was it because his god was too weak? Incompetent? Evil? Unloving? All of these would make some sense and would have caused the psalmist to either seek his own aid or allow the darkness to swallow him up in death. But the reality of God’s existence and his goodness of character cause him to seek him and plead with him for help. There is hope to be found in our God and His Son Jesus Christ.

     4. Even in despair, prayer tethers us to the Lord, so do not allow the darkness to silence you (vv. 1-2, 9, 13)

  • “This author, like Job, does not give up. He completes his prayer, still in the dark and totally unrewarded. The taunt, ‘Does Job fear God for naught?’, is answered yet again.” Kidner, 350.
  • Night and day impassioned cries come from the heart of the psalmist. He knows God hears, but he cannot understand why he has not answered his prayer. But the lack of understanding and answers to his prayers do not stop him from praying. The prayers are not long, sterile, liturgical prayers either. They are passionate pleadings mixed with heart-felt questions. The psalmist does not understand, and so he asks and argues his case before God. His prayers are wrestling with the One whom he seeks a blessing from. He will not let go until he is either dead or God has heard his prayers and answered by lifting the darkness.

     5. The grave is silent, but God attends to the living (vv. 3-5, 10-12)

  • “Am I dead?”, asked the psalmist. He asked this because he felt that God was treating him like someone who is in the grave, long lost and forgotten. But he was not dead, and as a man still in the land of the living he would still be able to praise the Lord for his steadfast love, faithfulness and righteousness. And as one among the living, the Lord could still act in working wonders that would remove the pain and suffering that would lead the psalmist to further praise and glory. At death there is no praise from the dead. But we must keep pleading and praying and trusting until our last breath.

     6. Hard providences point to our Sovereign God’s Mysterious Ways (vv. 6-8, 16-18; Isa 55:8-9)

  • C.T. Studd wrote, “A man is not known by his effervescence but by the amount of real suffering he can stand” [3]. Many Christians would like to protect the honor of the Lord by denying that God is sovereign in all things, including the suffering of men. But the psalmist knows his God and he knows that God is sovereign not only in the good, but also the bad, including suffering.
  • Job 2:9-10 speaks about this idea. It says, “Then his wife said to him, “Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die.” But he said to her, “You speak as one of the foolish women would speak. Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?” In all this Job did not sin with his lips.” Just because we do not understand why God does not stop our suffering or why he doesn’t bring relief does not mean that there is no reason.
  • Isa 55:8-9 says, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

      7. Behind a frowning providence hides the smile of God (vv. 14-15; Matt 27:46; 2Cor 6:10)

  • In the end, God is good and knows what is best. And that includes our suffering and the darkest clouds of despair. After all, God the Father turned from His only begotten Son in the midst of the worst of his suffering for both Jesus’ glory and our good. But had we been standing there at the Place of the Skull, would we have believed that was true?
The [Cowper] hymn “God Moves in a Mysterious Way” is a combination of assertions about God’s goodness, sovereignty and wisdom along with commands to take courage and trust in him. Cowper’s use of the metaphors of storms, mines, smiles, and flowers illustrate this meaning in a timeless way. The hymn is a beautiful expression of the kind of faith that sustained Cowper through long periods of darkness and despair.!We cannot yet claim to know all the mysteries of God’s plan for William Cowper’s life. In time, as Cowper himself says, God will make plain his bright designs. But until then we can praise God for one of the fruits that is already evident—this hymn. Only he knows how many saints have had their faith sustained amidst storms and sorrows by these words. It reminds us that many of the greatest hymns grow out of life’s most difficult circumstances. [1]
William Cowper, 1774 “God Moves in a Mysterious Way”
God moves in a mysterious way His wonders to perform;
He plants His footsteps in the sea And rides upon the storm.Deep in unfathomable mines
Of never failing skill
He treasures up His bright designs And works His sov’reign will.
Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take; The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy and shall break
In blessings on your head.
Judge not the Lord by feeble sense, But trust Him for His grace;
Behind a frowning providence
He hides a smiling face.
His purposes will ripen fast, Unfolding every hour;
The bud may have a bitter taste, But sweet will be the flow’r.
Blind unbelief is sure to err
And scan His work in vain;
God is His own interpreter,
And He will make it plain.

[2] Derek Kidner, TOTC, Psalms 73-150, 350.
[3] Quoted by Steven J. Lawson, HOTC, Psalms 76-150, 70.

The Sanctity of Marriage, part 2

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For part 1 of this post, see here.

The first two attributes of God-ordained and blessed marriage are related and are best understood together. Marriage marked by a relationship that is both heterosexual and monogamous demonstrates the glorious design of God in creation. In Genesis 2:18, when the Lord saw that it was not good for man to be alone, he created for Adam from his side a solitary woman (Gen 1:22). At this point of creation, God potentially could have made another male, several males, several females, or an animal that would have been an alternative to this single woman that He chose to create as the perfect mate for Adam. But in the Lord’s infinite wisdom He made a woman from the side of the first man. By defining this attribute of marriage for humanity the Lord ruled out the possibilities of adultery, homosexuality, polygamy, polyamory and bestiality. One man and one woman were all that God made in the Garden when he declared that it was “very good” at the close of the seventh day of creation (Gen. 1:31).

The boundaries of marriage restricted to a couple that are both heterosexual and monogamous are not simply one option among many. Neither is this simply a construct agreed upon by society in the past that has become outdated and impractical in our modern era. Because God established these parameters in the beginning with the first man and woman, they are binding upon all humanity for all time. John MacArthur writes, “From the very first marriage, that of Adam and Eve, God has joined together every husband and wife. Marriage is first of all God’s institution and God’s doing, regardless of how men may corrupt it or deny or disregard His part in it. Whether it is between Christians or between atheists or idolaters, whether it is arranged by parents or by the mutual desire and consent of the bride and bridegroom, marriage is above all the handiwork of God…”[1]The pattern for marriage was established in the first marriage. Thus it excludes all illicit relationships outside of this pattern, including adultery, homosexuality, polygamy and polyamory. Every corruption of the divine order for marriage is willful and open rebellion against the Creator. As Paul address the church in Rome, a church that undoubtedly saw similar desecration of marriage, he wrote: “Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen”[2](Rom 1:24-25, ESV).

The third attribute of God-glorifying marriage is implied in what has been said above regarding Eve being made for Adam. Marriage was designed by God for the lifetime of each of the marriage partners. The Bible is explicit regarding God’s desire for the commitment of marriage and speaks against such sins as polygamy, polyamory, adultery, divorce and fornication. Each of these sins strikes at the heart of God’s intention for marriage between one man and one woman for life. Although the practices of polygamy, concubinage and divorce were tolerated to a certain extent because of the hardness of man’s heart, the Lord Jesus stressed that “from the beginning it was not so” (Matt 19:8). Such sins as sexual immorality, including prostitution, fornication and adultery have always been an abomination to the Lord (Ex 20:14; Lev 20:10, 14; Matt 15:19; 1Cor 6:18; 1Thes 4:3).

The subject of divorce is a particularly difficult issue that needs to be understood in light of God’s intentions for marriage. Whereas there is no debate among fundamental Bible churches regarding the sinfulness and reprehensible nature of sexual immorality, polygamy, adultery, or homosexuality, there are different views regarding divorce and what is allowable. These differences exist among Bible believing brethren not in spite of, but becauseof our commitment to the authority of the Word. Simplistic answers do not help as we seek to minister and guide hurting families that have struggled in any of these areas of sin, including divorce.

Two biblical facts regarding divorce are agreed upon by all—God hates divorce (Mal 2:16) and divorce was never His intention for marriage (Mk 10:11-12) because it is the destruction of the one flesh union that was created in the marriage covenant (Gen 2:24). Where disagreement occurs among well-intentioned brethren is regarding the question of whether there is anyallowance for divorce. But even among those who believe that divorce is sometimesallowable, such divorces are restricted to two possible reasons: sexual immorality and abandonment by an unbelieving spouse (Matt 5:32; 1Cor 7:15) and is not allowable for just any cause (Matt 19:3).

An additional issue regarding divorce must also reconcile the biblical texts regarding remarriage and whether it is allowable or not (cp. Matt 5:32; Mk 10:11-12; 2Cor 6:14). These matters regarding divorce are not simple because individual situations vary and wisdom in the application of Scripture is necessary. Whatever a person or church concludes about divorce and remarriage, it must be done with a thorough commitment to scriptural truth along with grace in understanding that there are other views that must be recognized with respect and charity.

Seeking to Remain Biblical in Our Changing World

All Christians committed to the inerrant infallible Word understand that these matters are of immense importance to our world as we seek to minister to those who repent and turn to Christ as their only hope. Christ calls His Church to faithfulness to His Word while navigating the new challenges to marriage that we are encountering in our ever changing world. Our commitment to the Scripture’s standard must always remain as unchanging as the Word itself, and we must resist every effort to capitulate to the culture for the sake of expediency or to gain the esteem of the world. This will take wisdom, added care, grace and patience, but it is our responsibility if we intend on ministering to those in our hurting world without compromise.

With Christians not only teaching what the Bible says about marriage, but also living it out before a watching world, Christ will be glorified as we paint a picture of His love for the Church and our submission to Him (Eph 5:22-33). This will be a powerful testimony added to our loving care for those that are in need of the message of gospel.

[1]John MacArthur. The Divorce Dilemma, Day One Publications, Leominster, England, (2009), p. 39.

[2]The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (Wheaton: Standard Bible Society, 2016), Ro 1:24–25.

The Sanctity of Marriage, part 1

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Hebrews 13:4 tells us that marriage is to be held in honor among all. Marriage should hold a high place in the minds of the people of God. Where the sanctity of marriage was widely held in our society, that is no longer the case. Wherever one turns, the institution of marriage is being attacked and disparaged. Our IFCA fellowship of churches has sought to be a light for Christ in a dark world while at the same time seeking to reach those that are lost with the truth of the gospel of Christ. We have always been committed to standing firm and reaching out. To do this faithfully in the area of marriage, we need to be committed to what the Scriptures teach so that we can proclaim that truth in a spirit of faithfulness to the Lord with a love for the unregenerate.

The Challenges to Marriage Today

The attacks on the sanctity of marriage are so numerous that this short article can do little more than acknowledge that these issues are a growing concern not only in the culture around us, but many of those the Lord brings our way will be coming from this background. We must be prepared to minister to those who are devastated by these sins.

Cohabitation has become so prevalent that recent statistics show that living together before marriage has risen from 40% in 1980-1984 to 70% in 2010-2014.[1]The National Center for Family & Marriage Research unsurprisingly also found that births to single and cohabiting mothers steadily grew from 21% in 1980-1984 to 41% in 2010-2014.[2]

Divorce has recently been touted as being at a 35 year low. But we can’t be too quick to celebrate because the marriage rate since 2010 has also experienced a forty-five year  low.[3]Obviously, fewer marriages lead to fewer divorces. Instead of being encouraging news, we need to realize that this statistic is an illustration of the demise of traditional marriage. With the advent of homosexual civil unions and same-sex marriage, divorce of both heterosexual and homosexual couples each average about 2% per year.[4]

Adultery is an unfortunate universal reality and can be found in every civilization and culture all the way back to the fall of man. With the advent of modern technology the threat has become epidemic. In July 2015, Ashley Madison, a website designed as a “dating site” targeting married people interested in an adulterous relationship, was hacked and exposed the information of millions of its customers.[5]Now adultery is as close as our cell phones and computers.

Homosexuality and same-sex marriage are the most troublesome attacks upon the sanctity of marriage because their proponents have been organized and aggressive in their campaigns to promote and normalize homosexual activity. No longer restricted to gay and lesbian relationships, the LGBTQ[6]movement continues to spread its tentacles around the world into every place of prominence and power, including the Church.

Polyamory and polygamy has grown in popularity in recent years through the promotion of television programs such as HBO’s Big Loveand TLC’s Sister Wiveswith both programs seeking to gain sympathy for the polygamist lifestyles of fundamentalist Mormons as well as influencing the legality of polygamy[7]. Polyamory, which does not require marriage, refers to the similar philosophy that multiple simultaneous relationships of an intimate nature as normal and natural, so long as all parties agree.

Each of these challenges to the sanctity of marriage flout the Word of God regarding marriage by perverting God’s intention and purposes for it. So, what does the Word of God teach us regarding the preservation of His institution of holy matrimony?

Biblically Defining Marriage

In his book entitled The Bible in Government and Society, Christopher Cone observes the vast chasm that exists between believers and unbelievers regarding marriage as God designed it and how they choose to live their lives. Dr. Cone writes, “People who reject that Designer cannot be expected to uphold marriage as it is designed—in fact, the Bible never prescribes how unbelievers should conduct their own marriages. For unbelievers, marriage is little more than a civil union whereby society is ordered and promulgated. Herein is the cause of tension within a society where believer and unbeliever coexist under a common governmental structure. Believers ought to base their ethical understandings on the metaphysical understanding that the Bible is authoritative for every aspect of life (2 Tim 3:16–17). Unbelievers, on the other hand, do not operate from the same metaphysical understanding, and consequently, their ethical prescriptions will often conflict with those given to believers.”[8]

This different “metaphysical understanding” exists because unregenerate men and women have suppressed the truth that God has made known to them and by nature cannot truly understand the Spirit-given Word (Rom 1:18-32; 1Cor 2:6-14). This does not mean that we should not hold unbelievers in society to the Lord’s standard, but that we must uphold the truth (1Tim 3:15) and declare it to the world without fear or shame (2Tim 1:8-14). The sanctity of marriage can be simplified if we focus on three attributes that the Scriptures teach us about God’s righteous standard.

[1]Paul Hemez and Wendy D. Manning, “Thirty Years of Change in Women’s Premarital Cohabitation Experience” National Center for Family and Marriage Research, Bowling Green State University, https://magic.piktochart.com/output/19755947-hemez-manning-30-yrs-change-women-premarital-cohab-fp-17-05; Accessed 3/9/2017.

[2]Huijng Wu, “Trends in Births to single and Cohabiting Mothers, 1980-2014.” https://magic.piktochart.com/output/19730931-wu-trends-births-single-cohabiting-mothers-fp-17-04-png; Accessed 3/9/2017.

[3]Ben Steverman. “Divorce in U.S. Plunges to 35-Year Low” Bloomberg; https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2016-11-17/divorce-in-u-s-plunges-to-35-year-low?mkt_tok=eyJpIjoiWlRRNU1UQTNPRFV5WTJNMiIsInQiOiJISTR1Tjl3WmliMzVabFF4bGZiSnBXdUN4T0NrXC8waXh6ZjNpTzNZb29pdzR3UGZmODBLVU5HelJkQWxRMVhJT1h5cjh0RysrYklMN25iNWVyR0JzWUplM0ZRSjdJVzR6RmtRWWJRQ1RiRDg9In0%253D; Accessed 3/9/2017.

[4]Andrew Gelman. “Same-Sex Divorce Rate Not As Low As It Seemed.” The Washington Post, Dec. 15, 2014. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/monkey-cage/wp/2014/12/15/same-sex-divorce-rate-not-as-low-as-it-seemed/?utm_term=.cec6a8232101; Accessed 3/9/2017.

[5]Charles Riley. “Hackers Threaten to Release Names From Adultery Website.” CNN Tech; http://money.cnn.com/2015/07/20/technology/ashley-madison-hack/; Accessed 3/9/2017.

[6]Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer or Questioning. Some have advocated the addition of the letter “A” for “Affirming,” those who may not themselves be homosexual, but affirm and promote homosexual and transgender sexuality.

[7]The Associated Press. “High Court Won’t Hear ‘Sister Wives’ Appeal Over Bigamy Law.” http://woodtv.com/2017/01/23/high-court-wont-hear-sister-wives-appeal-over-bigamy-law/; Accessed 3/9/2017.

[8]Christopher Cone. The Bible in Government and Society, Tyndale Seminary Press, Hurst, TX (2012), pp. 106-7.

Time Doesn’t Heal All Wounds

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In Psalm 32 David confessed that he had stubbornly hidden his sin with Bathsheba and his murder of Uriah, her husband and how it had made him physically miserable. He described it this way in vv. 3-4, “For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. Selah” (Psalm 32:3–4, ESV)

You see, time doesn’t heal all wounds, it just allows gangrene to set in and the poison to spread until it enters the blood stream and kills the heart.

Let me ask you, do you think you are somehow different? If you don’t deal with your anger it will turn to hatred and bitterness and it will corrode your heart.

Ephesians 4:26 says, “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,” (Ephesians 4:26, ESV).

If you are a blood bought Christian, then you are a new creation in Christ Jesus. You have the Holy Spirit, and so you can call out to God and ask him to help you to forgive, and for him to put to death that sinful hatred and anger in your heart.

James 4:1-2 says, “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask.” (James 4:1–2, ESV).

Sometimes Christians read the “murder” part as hyperbole, as exaggeration about anger. Some read what James wrote and think that they will never let their anger go that far. But we are talking about an anger that is out of control, it begins small and then grows and becomes a monster that wages war.

John MacArthur said about this sort of growing hatred:

“Just think about something like hate; if you want to find out what hate does to people, go back to Genesis 4 and find out about Cain and see what hate did to Cain. If that isn’t a good enough lesson, go to Esau and watch hate drive a man through his whole lifetime. If that doesn’t satisfy you, go to the sons of Jacob and find out what hate did to those people, hate toward Joseph and the results of it. If that doesn’t do it, go find a man named Saul and see what it did to him. He hated David, and it drove him to the place where he killed himself. If that isn’t convincing enough, find Absalom and see what hate did to him in 2 Samuel 13. If that doesn’t convince you, read the book of Esther and find out how hatred drove a man named Haman to be hanged of his own gallows.”

Anger that is not dealt with quickly is a toxin in our heart and it poisons us until we repent and confess it. Shoving it down deeper isn’t an answer. David said in Ps 32:1-2, “Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man against whom the Lord counts no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit.” (Psalm 32:1–2, ESV)

If you struggle with bitterness and anger, take it to the Lord in prayer. As him to reveal to you how it has grown in your heart so you can see where all of its roots have led—in your speech, your attitude, your conduct, your worship, your relationships. Let the Lord show you so that you can be done with it completely and you can have that blessing David wrote about.

If you’d like the watch the full length sermon video on this subject, you can see it here: Facebook video link

[1]https://www.gty.org/library/sermons-library/1794/paul-before-festus-part-1

The Never-Ending Fight

“When sin lets us alone, we may let sin alone; but sin is always active when it seems to be most quiet, and its waters are often deep when they are calm. We should therefore fight against it and be vigorous at all times and in all conditions, even when there is the least suspicion…Sin is always acting, always conceiving, and always seducing and tempting.” -John Owen, Mortification of Sin, 7