counsel

The Foolish, Isolated Pastor

/ Richard Bargas / Leave a comment

“And you say, “How I have hated discipline! And my heart spurned reproof! I have not listened to the voice of my instructors, And I have not inclined my ear to my teachers!”  (Proverbs 5:12–13, LSB)

This week I began recording a series in our IFCA podcast Advancing the Cause asking the question: Who Shepherds the Pastor? In this series, I am hoping to draw attention to the fact that all followers of Christ, pastors and elders included, need to have someone (preferably a few people) who watches over their soul.

This morning’s Scripture reading once again brought this necessity to my mind in the context of a father (Solomon) warning his sons about the lure of adultery.

Solomon imparts wise words on how to avoid the pitfalls of lust and adulterous relationships. He employs the eventual fate of the adulterer as a deterrent, illustrating the consequences of disregarding this wisdom and remaining faithful to marriage vows.

Solomon’s words apply to more than the destructive effect of adultery. In fact, they are applicable to everyone who comes to the end of their foolish ways and begins to regret their unwillingness to listen to the voices of reason and warning that preceded their downfall.

In regard to church leaders, this is a particular danger. Some pastors, by virtue of their small church, are often the lone leader. Others, by design, have isolated themselves from any other critics. Either way, the results are the same—words of warning are either unspoken or silenced.

I can’t think of anyone I know who enjoys being confronted for their sin. Confrontation is like good medicine. It’s bitter, but it helps where needed. We take it because we know the alternative is worse.

In reality, biblical counsel is beneficial. However, the challenge for many is that we understand the right things intellectually, yet we turn our hearts away, much like a young child turning away from the bitter syrup in a spoon, lips tightly pressed in rebellious refusal. While this child’s behavior may be considered childish if they are too young to comprehend the consequences of refusing their medicine, if they are old enough to understand and still resist, their childishness has transformed into foolishness.

Pastors are not naive or spiritual children. Instead, they understand the profound impact of the Word on the heart’s pain and brokenness caused by sin. However, they often take on the role of spiritual mother rather than the stubborn child. At least, that’s what we commonly believe.

Perhaps we’ve fallen prey to a subtle deception that acknowledges our imperfections, as all redeemed Christians do, yet still struggles with sin… but not excessively. Our congregants require the medicine, but we, we’re too mature to need it frequently. But is that truly the case?

If you’re a spiritual leader in the Church, you need someone to watch over your soul. Just like a medical doctor, who is still susceptible to illness, his medical expertise and training don’t prevent common colds. Physicians require the guidance of other physicians. Similarly, pastors need to be pastored. We need someone to use the rod and staff to guide and correct us through the Word of God.

To avoid such a relationship is foolish. Rejecting correction and warnings will lead us to a similar fate as the adulterer in Proverbs 5:12-14. As God’s children, we all need each other. Don’t believe the lie that you’re an exception. There are no exceptions. Don’t become the foolish, isolated Christians who, one day, look up and find their life in shambles, with their family and ministry forfeited because they refused to listen.

“Guard your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life.” (Proverbs 4:23, LSB)

You Need More than a Chiropractor for that Stiff Neck!

/ Richard Bargas / Leave a comment

“A man who hardens his neck after much reproof
Will suddenly be broken beyond healing.” Proverbs 29:1 (LSB)

The stubbornness of this foolish person is seen in the example of the prophet Eli’s sons, Hophni and Phineas, who were warned repeatedly, both by the general public, as well as by Eli himself (1Sam 2:12-3:11). They had become so brazen in their sin that they thought themselves to be above the law of God, and even above God himself, having no fear of his judgment. And as the proverb says, their judgment came upon them swiftly and like a pot smashed, was irreparably destroyed.

What’s the moral of the story? listen to those who bring to you correction. Don’t make excuses, shift the blame, play the victim, or get mad. See the grace of God in this friend who is loving you through correction.

The Sweet Perfume of Godly Counsel

/ Richard Bargas / Leave a comment

“Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.” Proverbs 27:9 (ESV)

When I was still dating the young woman who would become my wife, I somehow stumbled upon a breed of roses that were both beautiful and fragrant, called “Sterling.” They were deep lavender in color but had the strong perfume of rose that I had never smelled in most other roses that could be purchased from the florist.

I’m not a rose expert by any stretch of the imagination, but I know what a rose should smell like. Most roses today that you can purchase either don’t have any smell, or worst, have a musty smell that to me smells of mildew. Perhaps it is because of the process of breeding to get larger varieties that last longer, or maybe it is some other reason, but I had stumbled across a rose that was both beautiful to look at and had a perfume that was deep and rich.

These sterling roses instantly became my wife’s favorite for the reasons I have just mentioned. But over time this particular breed of rose became harder to find and even now are almost impossible to buy anywhere without a special order from a flower shop. I’m not sure why this is the case, but they are rare. The rarity and perfume of the sterling rose reminds me of Proverbs 27:9.

Indeed the perfume of flowers make most people’s heart glad. Thousands of romantics and lovers can attest to this fact. But this proverb takes that reality and applies it to the sweetness of a real, deep friendship.

Whereas the sterling rose finds its sweetness in its perfume, the source of a friend’s sweetness is found in his “earnest counsel.” Although the translations vary, the main meaning seams to be clear enough—a friend’s counsel is sweet like perfume and for the wise person who accepts it, it is not an offense, but a welcome joy.

Unfortunately, like my wife’s sterling roses, the acceptance of the fact that counsel from a friend is sweet, is becoming more and more rare. It only takes losing a friend, finding your counsel received poorly, a relationship ending in awkward silence, or even a response of heated anger to realize that it might be better to just keep our counsel to ourselves.

But this isn’t the way of Christ. As Shakespeare has written, “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet,” so too godly, loving counsel that is repugnant or refused by a foolish friend is still sweet perfume that honors the Lord when spoken. But this Sort of friendship is like the roses that we have today—large, deep in color, beautiful to look at in a vase, but when you go to this rose and take a good, deep smell—the stench of mildew fills your nostrils!

We live in a world where the path of least resistance is the path well travelled. Why bother, when it seems that no good comes from risking the loss of a good relationship? But with the loss of these good, honest conversations comes the loss of the sweetness of earnest counsel and truly deep friendships. And it is this sweet speech that is not only needed by our friends, whether they want it or not, but it is the true beauty and sweet perfume that this world needs to see right now.

Friendships without honest and loving counsel are like roses that smell of mildew. They look good from afar, but they do not carry the perfume that should accompany their beauty. May the friendships of Christians both look and smell beautiful.

The Pastor and His Schedule

/ Richard Bargas / Leave a comment

No matter where you serve the Lord, whether in a city or rural setting, it is easy to become overwhelmed with the many responsibilities that are required of a minister. For 12 of my 17 years as the pastor of a small church in an urban inner-city area of Los Angeles, I juggled two sets of responsibilites—leading our church in many of the main teaching responsibilities, which consisted of preaching for about 45 minutes three times a week from three different books of the Bible, along with men’s discipleship, and counseling. There were, of course, many other responsibilities which we could sprinkle in along with those, but those took up major chunks of my time.

Additionally, I taught pastoral ministry courses at a nearby seminary twice a week during the regular semesters. Because of Los Angeles traffic and the distance to the seminary, I would spend about 4 hours each day on congested freeways as I travelled to and from the school. That meant that on the days that I taught, I would spend most of my days either commuting to and from the seminary as well as teaching. When I returned I would most often drive straight to my office at church and pick up my duties there.

These two worlds, church pastor and seminary professor, required that I have a very good grasp of time management and discipline or else I knew that all those involved—my wife and children, my church, and my students—would suffer and I would not be able to faithfully discharge my duties.

Because of this, I understand the time constraints that are placed upon any servant of God as they seek to make the best use of their time to bring glory to God. To help those that might be working at doing this very thing, I’d like to share with you how I did this, even thought it was imperfect, in hopes that you might benefit from the lessons I learned.

I remember reading several years ago in a book by the famous productiviy guru Stephen Covey, the illustration of the big rocks and little rocks. It helped me to see the importance of prioritizing the big responsibilities in my life and ministries, and was a help in looking at the big picture.

In this illustration, Covey says he invited a seminar attendee to the front of the room to a table with a glass jar and several bowls with rocks, pea gravel, sand, and a glass of water. He asked the woman if she thought she could fit everything on the table into the jar. She said she’d try and made a few attempts, trying to put the sand and gravel in first. By doing this she found that the larger rocks wouldn’t fit. After a few more attempts she said that she didn’t think it was possible. Covey thanked her and then proceeded to take an empty jar and added in each element one at a time. He started with the larger rocks, then added the pea gravel, shaking the jar to settle in the gravel as much as possible. Then he added the sand. At each step he asked the women who had failed if she thought the jar was full. At first she said it was, then as she caught on, she answered that somehow she knew more would fit in. After the gravel and the sand, Covey once again shook the jar so the sand filled in all the spaces between the large rocks and the gravel. Finally, Covey added the water, which filled the microscopic spaces between the grains of sand, assuring his audience that the jar was now truly full.

Covey used this illustration to show that unless the large rocks, which represent the important things in our lives, are put into place first, we will never accomplish what matters most. And when what matters most is our families and our ministry to the Lord, we want to make sure that these things are placed in the most important place of priority in our life and limited time. The other stuff, the small stuff, can be added afterwards if we so desire.

So, for me, I set up a general day by day schedule that looked like this:

Mondays—Family Day. This was time that unless absolutely necessary due to a real emergency, I did not work or neglect the family. These focused days were filled with great joy and helped me to relax and spend time with my wife and children. I understood that if I lost my family, I lost my ministry.

Tuesdays—Seminary teaching in the day, church administration and counseling appointments in afternoons and the evenings.

Wednesday-Study and sermon preparation for Wednesday night, and teaching in the evenings.

Thursday– Seminary teaching in the day, study and sermon preparation for Sunday mornings.

Friday-Continue study and sermon prep for Sunday morning if not finished, study and sermon prep for Sunday evenings.

Saturday-Men’s Bible study and/or evangelism; finish sermon prep for Sunday nights if not done.

Sunday-Worship in the morning and evening, monthly leadership training and board meetings in between services.

This was my regular “big picture” schedule for most of my 17 years as pastor of my church. When the seminary had a break, then usually my involvement at church increased and I was able to divert my attention to other necessary needs at church.

And although I can’t say that I never struggled with being exhausted at times, or having too much on my plate, my schedule helped me to fit the big things into my days, and then the smaller “pebbles, and sand,” like phone calls, visitation to homes and hospitals, and pop-in-visits, fit in without losing sight of the important responsibilities that needed to happen.

Most people within your church will never have any idea how many hours and how much time you put into serving them—and that’s as it should be. We are servants after all. But the Lord knows, and we will all have to give an account for how we spent our time as ministers of the gospel. So, if you are a pastor of a church, take that seriously. The pastorate is no place for lazy men.

How God’s Sovereignty Affects Our Attitude in the Present Circumstances (part 1)

/ Richard Bargas / 2 Comments

In his famous hymn “This is My Father’s World”, Maltbie Babcock wrote these comforting words:

This is my Father’s world, O let me ne’er forget/ That though the wrong seems oft so strong, God is the ruler yet. This is my Father’s world: The battle is not done; Jesus who died shall be satisfied, And earth and heav’n be one.

This stanza pulls together two truths that confront us in this world—“the wrong seems oft so strong” and “God is the ruler yet.” In the next three post I want to address this from the biblical perspective of Psalm 75. Over each of the next three posts I will lay out a total of Nine Ways in Which the Sovereignty of God in Dealing with the Wicked Affects Our Attitude Toward our Present Circumstances. Let’s begin…

1. It Makes us Aware That God is Always Near Us (v. 1A)

Psalm 75:1a “We give thanks to you, O God; we give thanks, for your name is near.”

The reason for the psalmist’s thankfulness was that the “name” of God was near. The “name” of course, points to the presence of God himself.
David wrote about this nearness in Psalm 139:1-12 when he spoke of the Lord intimately knowing mankind from when he knit us in our mother’s womb as well as every other aspect of our lives. There is nowhere that we can hide or be hidden from his presence.

This is a comforting reality in times of need and pain. God really is right here with us. He hears your prayers. He sees your enemies as they attack. He sees it all.

2. It Gives us a Thankful Heart (v.1b)

Psalm 75:1b “We recount your wondrous deeds.”

Along with his nearness was a legacy of remembering that brought forth a thankful heart.

Remembering and reciting aids in developing a thankful heart. We are forgetful people, aren’t we? The Lord knew this, and so he constantly calls his people throughout the Scriptures to remember, even instructing them to set up memory aids, special dates, rites, and festivals. In the Church Age, Christ instituted the Lord’s Supper to be done “in remembrance of him.” Why? Because as monumental as the cross of Christ is for our eternity, we still forget about it if left to ourselves.

Psalm 78:4 speaks about the need for parents to recite these memories to their children. It says, “We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done.”

We can grow anxious and weary when we forget that God is in control. We can begin to see ourselves as helpless, awash in the chaos of the world, victims of chance. But if you sit down and read through the pages of Scripture, you will quickly begin to see that God has always been in control. Reminding yourself of this fact will change your outlook radically.

3. It Teaches Us Patience (v. 2)

Psalm 75:2 “At the set time that I appoint, I will judge with equity.”

Here we have a change of speakers—the song has moved from Asaph speaking (or the priest who led the singing) to God himself speaking. The Lord says that “at the set time that I appoint…” This language in Hebrew refers to seasonal time, not clock time. Clock time spins fast. Seasons don’t work by a clock. Fruit doesn’t ripen according to your watch. God doesn’t punch-in to work.

Let there be no mistake, God will judge—he says so. But he will judge at the set time that he appoints. We can’t say “Amen” to God’s sovereignty and then be impatient when he doesn’t act on our schedule, can we? We can’t be like Martha, Lazarus’ sister, who got so upset that Mary wasn’t helping her prepare the food in the kitchen that she stomped right into the middle of Jesus’ teaching time and demanded that the LORD command her sister to help her! It appears Martha thought Jesus needed a little help leading the world. He doesn’t.

When you become impatient and wonder when God will judge, remember that God is in control as he has always been. Be still and know that he is God.